Heart

Guest post by Mommy:

I kind of don't know where to begin or how to properly organize my thoughts. To say my heart is full would be somewhat of an understatement. Yesterday was a GREAT day. I bought fabulous new shoes that were supposed to be for my mom but look too good on my feet! My little girls shrieked and giggled and said "Again! Again!" with huge grins on their faces and I felt like I didn't stop smiling. We had a wonderful day at the pool and finished it off with dinner at my favorite restaurant with my littlest er youngest brother, Eric, who can be an amazingly engaging teenage boy. Simply terrific.

And yet, that's not exactly why my heart is full. My heart is full because of all the emotions I have been experiencing lately. Happiness was a big one yesterday. And gratitude. But also sorrow and heartache. If you'll notice on my so aptly titled "Blogs we stalk" links we had to add a blog. Together For Taleah. Taleah is my high school friends' little 2 and a half year old. She was just diagnosed with cancer a week ago. Her mom was my sister Angie's best friend through high school and I grew up down the street from her dad. They have another little boy who is not even a year old yet and life just handed them this card. My heart broke for them. She has cancer with a very high cure rate (ALL which is a form of leukemia) but their lives have been forever altered. They have to be germaphobic and overly cautious and endure watching their daughter handle poison being forced into her body. My worst nightmare.

And that's not all. I also recently found out that one of my very best friends from middle school has her only son battling his own tumors in his brain. He hasn't even hit his 2nd birthday! He's been undergoing chemo just to keep from going blind from the two NF1 (neurofibromatosis) tumors on his optic nerves and has already had one debulking procedure done on the main tumor which doesn't have a treatment that makes it so he almost can't open his eye! GAAAA! This isn't supposed to be happening to MY friends. And I mean that in I don't feel old enough to have to deal with very real issues of this magnitude.

I have been on dozens of blogs in the last week of families with little cancer cuties as they call them. All young families who's lives have been flipped upside down. Some have lost their little fighters. Others have had to endure unimaginable setbacks over and over but do eventually come out on top. Some have no answers and no way of knowing which treatment will work. And yet all of them speak so optimistically and have plenty of good to say.

So since September is Childhood Cancer Awareness month I thought I would take the time to post about my new found sense of gratitude for my healthy girls and give a shout out to all those little families of fighters. My girls try my patience daily and sometimes I am just so dang excited for bedtime and I don't say the nicest things to them or in the kindest tone. But right now, I am acutely aware of how that can change in an instant. (As I sit here typing, I can hear Siena singing "There was an Old Lady who Swallowed a Fly" to Cara and has now moved on to singing "I Am A Child of God". They are supposed to be sleeping. Heart melting.)

Girls, I love you and your healthy little bodies. May you continue to squirm and wiggle your way onto my lap for a long time.